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Maybe you can me nosey. Maybe you can say it was women's Woman looking sex Baxter Springs Kansas intiution or that little devil of a concience sitting on my shoulder telling me to do. When he doesn't come home at night, when he still hurts me, when he still won't help. Even when I pay all the bills, cook for him every night, try to keep the house clean, let him do whatever he wants, "try" to be a "good" wife.
Maybe I was just insecure to think something wasn't right. Maybe that feeling in the pit of my stomach shouldn't have won out over thinking I shouldn't look in his wallet. Maybe he shouldn't have had a condom in it. It's I nudge him, gently and he stirs.
I expect myself to be angry. Furious even. Desperate to know the truth. After being broken before it's hard to feel anything other than dissapointment. The me now is a hollow, defeated shell. I've become weak and lost the fight I used to have.
I've given up on myself, my self respect, my happyness, and my marriage. He put his head down and with what I thought was a hint of regret says, "I can't, I can't talk to you about that. Maybe I really want to believe him in my heart of hearts but there's always a doubt in the back of my head from the past.
I plead quietly with him for me to tell him. His story unfolds that he bought it for a co-worker while purchasing items at the store for his other co-workers. It's not unusual for him to be sent out to get food for everyone while working. He gladly takes the break and who could blame him? Maybe its a guy thing to ask for condoms. What strikes me as odd is it's a single Magnum, not in a box or package, but alone in it's wrapper in his wallet.
The same condom he would use if I wasn't on birth control. I tell him I just want the truth and a single tear manages to slip down my cheek as I just say, "ok," and continue to make my lunch for work. Instead of asking, "what do you like to do," ask "What is your favorite sport? Here's an idea: Give her a packet of brochures of city sights to or things to do Ask her to pick one for your next date no input from you, SHE must choose one.
Then you can do that thing, and add to it by making it a tour. For example, if she wants to have a picnic in the park, give her a tour of the area's parks. If she wants to a concert, then afterwards go to a restaurant or bar where musician-types out. The more time you spend doing different things, the more confidence she'll have that choosing something which isn't your favorite won't lose your interest in her.
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