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Life happens, which means dry spells happen, am I right? No biggie—unless that dry spell morphs into more of a, well, severe drought.
Wondering why don't I want to have sex anymore? Factors like stress, time, and kids can seriously zap your sex drive. That said, you shouldn't just give up on your sex life forever. Here are some of the most common reasons why women lose their sex drives, plus what to do about it.
This happened to Heather J. I loved him fully and was super-attracted to him. It was a mood thing. I ended up finding out I was feeling this way because of my birth controland once the doctor took me off, I felt better and we started having a decent sex life again, doing it about two to three times a week.
If your libido seems to go on a permanent vacation right after you start a new hormonal birth control method, talk to your doctor. Wider says. Motherhood can be rough on your sex life. Yeppp, being a mom means constantly tending to the needs and demands of others, and at some point, sex can feel like another demand. That may help lift your sex drive. That body image issue Juliet mentioned is real. And, unfortunately, that can have a direct effect on your sex life. Maybe take a bubble bath surrounded by candles, or slip into some silky lingerie—all of that can help. A subset of stress, many women end up playing multiple roles and fulfilling multiple obligations, Brito says, which can feel overwhelming.
Think: "being a partner and a mother, while balancing your career and personal life," she says. It's easy for that last one—personal life—to take a back seat. Again, talk to your partner about how they can help out! Instead of looking at it as the same old, same old, Durvasula recommends reminding yourself that this is something special that only you and your partner share.
That, and doing what you can to spice things up. Try taking a vacation together and having hotel sex, or working in some new positions. If you're in the former camp, you're probs not so interested in having sex with a person you're feeling less than fond of—makes sense! The truth is, whether or not conflict makes you wanna get it on, you'll need to get to the root of your issues if you want the relationship to continue long-term.
When you feel stressed beyond belief, you may also feel like you just. Totally fair. This is where scheduling sex can really come in handy—and it's not as lame as it sounds. Who knows—scheduled sex could be hotter than you think: Planning for intimacy can mean less distraction and more build-up! But this can go either way: Some women notice a higher sex drive during pregnancy, while others notice a decrease.
Either is okay! So, if you tend to feel zapped at night, try having morning sex instead. I still loved my boyfriend, but maybe more in a friend kind of way?
I told my boyfriend the truth, and at first, he was completely taken back and a little offended. We met each other in the middle, and now we have an open relationship, which I feel is modern and most people understand. Even if you're still attracted to your partner, you may be craving different things in the bedroom than you used to.
Maybe you liked spanking years ago, but you're not so into it now. That's okay! Your sexual preferences may shift over time, and perhaps there are new things you'd like to try. The key is voicing them to your S. Try: "Is there anything you'd like to try in bed? I've been thinking about X XX. Lots of people are affected by restrictive views on sexuality, Brito says, a. Did you grow up believing sex was shameful? That could easily affect your views on sex into adulthood, and you could benefit from talking this out with a professional.
Welcome to modern life. Anxiety doesn't exactly feel sexy, so if you've been feeling anxious lately, it's totally normal for your sex life to take a hit. If you find yourself suddenly not wanting sex, Durvasula recommends checking in with your doctor to make sure everything is okay on the health front. Things like depression, hormonal changes, and certain medications can all affect your libido, she points out. In fact, low sex drive is a common side effect of some antidepressants; speak to your doc about your options. Lots of guys have trouble getting it up The bottom line: There are many reasons for a low sex drive.
If you still want to be close to them, hold their hand, kiss, and touch them, those are all great s, says Durvasula.
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Should you ever have sex when you don't feel like it?